Please read these first few sentences before you look at the subheadings. I want to be clear about a few points.
First, some pastors are fired for moral failure. This article does not address that category of firing. Second, my article makes some church members the bad guys. I want to be clear that they are the exception and not the rule. Third, I realize that each firing has its unique characteristics. What you will read is a typical pattern, not a fixed sequence of events for every dismissal of a pastor.
This article reflects on seven phases of the firing of a pastor. I have worked with countless pastors who shared their stories with me. These phases are common in many of them. Also, I will use a recent conversation to provide a real narrative of a real pastor in a real church. I made some slight adjustments to protect the identities of the pastor and the church.
Phase 1: The Pastor Made a Decision a Power Broker Did Not Like.
This phase can begin with an individual or with a small group of members. It can be cumulative decisions or one decision. The church I’m using as my case study began with one person who had significant influence in the church. The pastor declined to recommend the power broker’s family member for the open worship minister position.
Phase 2: The Power Broker Forms a Negative Coalition Against the Pastor.
At this point, the pastor has no idea that the power broker is working against him. He is still unaware that any opposition is taking place. The power broker never meets with the pastor. Instead, he goes directly to the personnel committee of the church. It is a strategic move by the power broker. He has considerable influence over five of the seven members. The other two are weak and will not question the power broker. Also, the personnel committee acts as the pastor’s supervisor.
Phase 3: The Negative Coalition Gathers “Fake Facts” Against the Pastor.
The power broker never mentions the issue of his family member not being recommended for the worship minister position. Instead, he leads several of the members of the personnel committee to create a false narrative about the pastor. “He didn’t visit Jane in the hospital when she had surgery.” “He spoke rudely to Marion.” “He made some decisions where he did not have authority.” “People are saying that the pastor hardly ever works.” “People are saying that he is not friendly to anyone.” “People are saying that all the new members who have joined the church under his tenure are causing trouble.”
Phase 4: The Negative Coalition Asks to Meet with the Pastor.
The pastor is caught off guard by the requested and unscheduled meeting with the personnel committee. The pastor contacted me (Thom) to ask if he should be worried. I told him that I was concerned and that he should be prepared even though he couldn’t think of any reason why there would be a problem. The expressions and body language of the personnel committee immediately communicated a bad situation to the pastor when he came to the meeting, especially since he thought most of them were his friends.
Phase 5: The Negative Coalition Presents the Concerns to the Pastor and Asks for his Resignation.
All of the concerns were false and prefaced with these three cowardly words, “People are saying.” The pastor’s first thought is to fight the charges since he knows they are false, but the power broker makes a sinister comment without explanation, “If you do not resign, your family will suffer.” The pastor accepts the four months of offered severance and signs a non-disclosure agreement (NDA). The NDA clearly stipulates that if he says anything negative about the church, he will lose his severance.
Phase 6: The Pastor Announces his Resignation the following Sunday during the Worship Service.
The NDA prevented him from saying anything other than that the dismissal was not due to moral failure. The church is stunned. The absence of any explanation causes the rumor mill to create multiple false narratives.
Phase 7: No One Comes to the Pastor’s Defense.
This church is congregational in its polity. The personnel committee does not have the authority to fire a pastor without a congregational vote. Such is the reason the personnel committee demanded his resignation. Any member of the church could have met with the personnel committee and demanded transparency. But no one was willing to rock the boat. Pastors typically tell me that this phase is the most painful. One pastor called it “the sinful silence of the majority.”
In this particular case, the pastor was able to receive a call to another church just as the severance ran out. Most pastors are not that fortunate. A number of pastors never return to vocational ministry after such a traumatic event. The pastor and his family are traumatized.
In most cases, the church that fires the pastors suffers as well, sometimes for years. One member of the church noted in my story told me, “I will regret forever that I did not speak up. It took me a year to ask my former pastor for forgiveness. Since the evil event took place, it’s like a cloud of darkness is over our church. I wonder if it will ever go away.”
It is a sad story. It is a tragic story.
Sadly, it is a story that is much too common.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
Posted on November 11, 2024
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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101 Comments
As a second generation pastor, I’ve faced this very scenario multiple times, both as a family member and as a pastor myself. It was part of the reason I vigorously wrestled with God regarding His call on me to the pastorate in the first place. I wanted nothing to do with professional ministry because of things I watched my father experience. I have two younger siblings who have thus far rejected the gospel precisely because of the behavior of many church members. I have witnessed similar effects on my own children. It is an incredible struggle to maintain any desire to continue in ministry some days. I resonate with Elijah in 1st Kings 19 and Jeremiah in Jeremiah chapter 20. I admit freely that I cheered to myself upon learning of the death of a former power broker in a previous ministry experience. I don’t say that with any semblance of pride, nor am I suggesting it was necessarily the right way to respond. I’m just expressing what happened as a matter of honesty. I find myself weary of working with churches and wary of getting involved with another. Maybe it’s possible the term gun-shy applies. I don’t want to come across as bitter, but it’s hard to be anything else sometimes. The question has often occurred to me, why bother preaching the truth when they obviously don’t want to hear it?
I get it, Nathan.
Phase 7 is the one that hurts. The “we love you but we’re going to have to live with him” group. And often those people are on the board that asks for your resignation. When the dust settles, they’ll often contact you and offer their condolences.
Spot on, Ron.
Thank you for your ministry! We have all benefited. After 25 years serving in the same church, we are now serving a church in much need of revitalization. I have chosen the word “RENEWAL”. Just finished preaching through “I Am A Church Member” on Sunday mornings. Deacons and other leaders are reading through “Autopsy”, and I am working through “Who Moved My Pulpit”. All at the same time! I have given you full credit!!!! Unfortunately this article on forced termination is “spot on”. For some congregations it becomes a vicious cycle. They want a “one term” (5-7 years) pastor so that they can maintain control. I have observed that there really is a thing called “The Seven Year Itch”. People/Pastors/Employees kind of have to reinvent themselves every 7 years if they stay at the same place/position and/or the organism/organization must also have a fresh vision.
Blessings,
David Williams
David –
Thank you for your wisdom. And thank you for kind words to me.
Similar scenario played out for me and my family at the two last churches. Lots of other details too, as I’m sure there usually are. It hurts. It really, really hurts. I’m trying to forgive and learn and heal. But it’s been over a year and while part of me longs to be in ministry again, part of me is scared, and I feel numb toward the love of God–not for others–but for myself. If I’m brutally honest, I feel abandoned and left behind. But it’s also true that I’m learning a lot and being reminded about the core truths of my identity in Christ. My naïveté about church leadership is slowly being transformed by perspective and wisdom. We’ll see what God has planned for me and my family. But it is incredibly tragic that enough churches follow this “pattern” in releasing pastures that it has become a “thing”. A hope this is a reminder to your readers that we all need to be in God’s Word daily so things like Biblical conflict resolution is top of mind, and so what I hope is the silent majority in churches speaks up. There are obviously times when a pastor needs to be let go. But standing by silently and allowing this internal power-play stuff is just hurting ourselves and our testimony to the world. Thanks for the post!
Michael –
Thank you for reminding all believers that joy comes in the morning.
This is the exact scenario I experienced a little over a year ago. It is almost as if you were in those dreadful meetings in my two year saga. The irony is in my story the “power broker,” a Deacon who started the mess, left the church after being privately censured by the other Deacons for defying the Deacon’s decision that favored my position in the matter that caused the conflict. Of course, I was blamed for this family for leaving the church when the Deacons are the ones who called for his resignation from the Deacons that led to his departure. This “power broker” had already done his dirty work of making accusations against me the Pastor and sowing discord. The church was left without a Pastor who had served the church for ten years, and families who also left the church heart broken. Yes, is often described as a lonely calling, but that loneliness is never greater than when no one will stand up for you their pastor.
Rick –
I am so sorry. This sentence is one of the saddest I’ve ever read: “Yes, is often described as a lonely calling, but that loneliness is never greater than when no one will stand up for you their pastor.”
Thanks Thom. Both personally and as a church consultant I have seen this situation far too often. The result? Gen Y and Z are generally opting for other ministries than pastoring established churches, such as church planting. There is a crisis coming (and in some places is already here) where there will not be sufficient pastors. And churches without leadership will close. There are two things that denominations can do to avert this coming crisis. Whether they will is an open question. Firstly to require that all churches in their association sign a code of conduct – this of course would include other things than how they treat staff, such as being missional in their local community – what it means to be part of that association. And secondly to refuse to place a settled pastor until they deal with the issues, since as you rightly say forced termination and lies will impact their church as well as the pastor. This can be done with a wise and gifted intentional interim or transitional pastor. Unless these two things are done the assumption that ‘we can always get another pastor’ will be found, sooner or later, to be false.
Kind Regards
Ian
Ian –
Thanks so much. Looking at your verbiage, it appears that you are talking about an authority above the local church. That would not be be the case in congregational churches.
Thom,
I experienced the same thing, however, with a twist. Step five was not a resignation but a public apology for speaking a Biblical truth and to promise to never speak about it from the pulpit.
So, I addressed the false accusations from the pulpit and asked if the majority believed the accusations to be true. Even went as far to ask for a vote of confidence.
The people stood up and defended me. The families that were offended left. Now the church is growing.
There are more details than there is room for, so I will leave them out.
That’s fascinating, Allen. Thanks for sharing.
Thom,
Thank you for sharing this tragic story. Once again, the saying rings true; “The church is the only institution that shoots it’s wounded”. Having been called to restore pastors, I, too, have heard similar stories. That is why I am committing my “Golden Years” of ministry helping pastors through crisis. I ask you to please pray for me that God opens the hearts of hurting pastors to reach out in trust, as I am sure they are having a hard time trusting many people. If there is ever anything I can do, please let me know.
Nick Toroni
May your tribe increase, Nick! You have my prayers.
How to restore pastor, who has handled his position as Pastor in a bad way. While there are some who wants his head on a platter, some say they can ot forgive or don’t want too arlwast right now, some want Him to sit down for 6 -12 months until they heal. While I am torn in certain areas and I don’t feel the same as they. Forgiveness is forgiveness. God will do the rest.
Kim –
I am not addressing those issues in this article. I want to focus on the topic at hand.
This article hits very close to home as a very similar situation happened at our church. Two very influential members followed a very similar scheme that ultimately led to our pastor resigning. However, in our case, the pastor had done a few things that led to distrust among a portion of the congregation. Also, several people did speak up in defense of the pastor, but, in the end, the “naysayers” led the pastor to seek another calling.
It would be interesting to read your thoughts on how church leadership should handle a situation where the pastor has committed immoral acts, but most members are not aware of them. The pastor resigns but does not explain why. Should church leadership make the congregation aware? Should they contact any higher authorities within the denomination? If they don’t, aren’t they just passing the problem pastor on to another congregation?
Perhaps I can deal with that situation later. I really want to focus on the details on this article for now.
Hi Thom, thanks for writing this blog. It is a far too familiar story for many in ministry. Seven years ago I went through it, but I’ve seen the Lord’s faithfulness through it all. Earlier this year, I traditionally published my first book based off of my experience called “Refined by the Fire(d): How to process pain, regain purpose and persevere after being fired by your church.”
I’ve been able to use my story to help encourage those who have been fired to heal, to help those in the midst of a firing a safe place to confide in and its helped me as a senior pastor to not be swayed by people or money who want to get their way with staff firings.
If you’d like a copy of it, I’d be glad to send a paperback or digital copy of it. I believe my book could be a valuable resource to many of the people within the church answers community. Let me know and I hope to hear from you soon!
And once again, thank you for your work in helping churches and pastors all over the country and world!
I am grateful for your heart, Kyle. And I am grateful that many leader are telling their stories in differetn ways.
As a pastor of 3 churches all long term (7.5, 18.5, and 12 years and counting) and never having been fired or threatened with firing, I have had many co-workers whom this has happened to for various reasons. If I were in this exact situation and a committee not directly responsible for my termination gave me this proposal, I would counter propose to protect my family that they provide 1 year of all my benefits from salary, health insurance, housing and any others (minus business expense reimbursements) for that period of time as it is likely to take that long to discover a new place of ministry. Only then I would sign the NDA. If I obtained a full time ministry before the 1 year mark they would be no longer responsible for the severence. If those terms were not acceptable I will remain and they can initiate the constitutional procedures for firing a pastor which likely includes them having to make their (poorly substantiated) case to the leaders and congregation. I suspect they don’t desire that. I would also begin to pray as to God’s leading to possibly move anyway as I began to dig around to the real reasons for this meeting.
Your path might indeed be best for some pastors in this position.
FACTS!!
True!
Spot on. It’s happened twice to our family over the past 20 years of ministry. The first time our kids were too young to know what was happening. The second time , two years ago, they understood everything. It was painful and left deep scars. The process you described is accurate except input case they never gae the respect of even meeting with me in person. We’ve lost a lot, but God has been faithful.
I am so sorry, Philip. I hurt for you and your family.