Somebody is watching you.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m still amazed at the stories I hear from my three grown sons. They remind me of things I did and said when they were children. Some good. Some not so good.<\/p>\n
Yes, I\u2019m really amazed how closely they watched their dad.<\/p>\n
Somebody else is watching us Christians. The unchurched. Non-Christians.<\/p>\n
And you might be surprised how closely they are watching us.<\/p>\n
Listening to the Formerly Unchurched<\/b><\/p>\n
In a previous blog I wrote about research my team had conducted on the formerly unchurched. These were men and women who had been Christians less than a year. They were able to give us some keen insights about their lives as unchurched, non-Christians, especially since those days were in the recent past.<\/p>\n
One of the more fascinating times in our interviews took place when we asked them what they didn\u2019t like about Christians. We asked them to specify issues, attitudes, actions, and words that turned them away from the church and the gospel.<\/p>\n
They gave us an ear full.<\/p>\n
Five Negatives<\/b><\/p>\n
Though the responses varied in their specific wording, we were able to group the negatives into five major categories. So what it is that the unchurched don\u2019t like about Christians? Some of the responses hit too close to home for my comfort.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t like Christians who treat other Christians poorly<\/i>. The unchurched don\u2019t expect us Christians to be perfect, but they can\u2019t understand why we treat each other without dignity and respect. \u201cI thought Christians were supposed to love one another,\u201d Sandy from Pennsylvania told us. \u201cBut the more I observed Christians, the more I thought they really didn\u2019t like each other.\u201d<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t like \u201cholier-than-thou\u201d attitudes<\/i>. The unchurched know that Christians will make mistakes, and they often have a forgiving attitude when we mess up. But they are repulsed when Christians act in superior ways to them \u201cIt would help,\u201d said Bailey of Tampa, \u201cif Christians showed just a little humility.\u201d<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t like Christians who talk more than they listen. <\/i>Many of the unchurched, at some point, have a perception that a Christian is a person who can offer a sympathetic and compassionate ear. Unfortunately, many of the unchurched thought Christians were too busy talking to listen to them.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t like Christians who won\u2019t get involved in my life. <\/i>One of the many surprises of our study was discovering how much many unchurched persons would like to have a Christian as a friend. Yet very few Christians are willing to invest their lives in the messy world that evangelism requires.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t like Christians who don\u2019t go to church.<\/i> The unchurched saw the disconnect between belief and practice in the lives of Christians who did not or who rarely attended church. \u201cYou would think that Christians would want to have the time together to worship and study,\u201d noted Frances. \u201cBut I am amazed how many Christians just are not committed to any church.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Takeaway<\/b><\/p>\n
The unchurched really are not too bothered by some hypocrisy with us Christians. They are well aware that any human will stumble at times. But these lost men and women want to know that Christians will treat each other well. They want to see humility in our lives. They want to know that we will take the time to listen, and even take more time to really be involved in their lives. And they want to know that we love our churches.<\/p>\n
The unchurched really want to see a Christian live incarnationally. Most of them will gladly listen to us if we show love toward them and toward other Christians. Most of them desire to see a Christian live his or her faith as well as speak about it.<\/p>\n
I have learned much from the world of the unchurched.<\/p>\n
And I know I have still have much yet to learn.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Somebody is watching you. I\u2019m still amazed at the stories I hear from my three grown sons. They remind me of things I did and said when they were children. Some good. Some not so good. Yes, I\u2019m really amazed how closely they watched their dad. Somebody else is watching us Christians. The unchurched. Non-Christians….","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"publish_to_discourse":"0","publish_post_category":"1","wpdc_auto_publish_overridden":"","wpdc_topic_tags":"","wpdc_pin_topic":"","wpdc_pin_until":"","discourse_post_id":"","discourse_permalink":"","wpdc_publishing_response":"","wpdc_publishing_error":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1,175,186,180,176],"tags":[80,81,83,84],"class_list":["post-696328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-church-answers","category-grow","category-health-and-metrics","category-outreach-and-evangelism","category-revitalize","tag-christians","tag-church-health","tag-great-commission","tag-unchurched"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n