{"id":715992,"date":"2020-07-14T21:30:56","date_gmt":"2020-07-15T01:30:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/?p=715992"},"modified":"2020-07-14T21:30:56","modified_gmt":"2020-07-15T01:30:56","slug":"why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/","title":{"rendered":"Why the Way You Leave a Church is More Important than How You Came"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As a layperson or a church staff member, it\u2019s likely you\u2019ve left a church at some point \u2013 or will leave a church in the future. When that happens, I hope you\u2019ll remember the points of this post.<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>People will remember how you leave.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> They\u2019ll forget even the most miraculous works of God to bring you to the church if you leave in a negative way. Even a few weeks of negative can erase years of positive.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Those who remain may be wounded if you leave poorly.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Especially if they\u2019ve loved and respected you, they may not understand why you\u2019ve suddenly changed. Long-term friendships can be broken.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Your family can be scarred by a bad ending.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> You might try to shield them from the pain, but few of us do that well when we\u2019re wounded.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Poor closures usually color future ministry opportunities.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Once you\u2019ve been hurt and carry wounds, you\u2019ll always wonder if more wounds lie in the future.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Division left by bad departures can destroy a congregation\u2019s unity.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> This sometimes happens when departing members challenge others to take sides on the issues.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Good departures make ministry a celebration.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Rejoicing over victories is always better than battling over remaining disagreements.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Healthy closure paves the way for the next leaders.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> One of the best ways to help the church\u2019s next leader is to leave in joyful response to God\u2019s calling \u2013 not in anger.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Leaving well fosters long-term friendships.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Moving to a different church doesn\u2019t have to harm relationships if the departure is handled well.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>Good leavings promote Christian unity.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Regardless of where we serve, we pray for and love other congregations when we\u2019ve left well. Good memories promote harmony between churches.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><b>People will remember how you leave.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> So, I repeat #1 above, but with a different flavor. Leave in a positive way, and churches often forgive years of negative.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><b>What would you add to this list?\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"As a layperson or a church staff member, it\u2019s likely you\u2019ve left a church at some point \u2013 or will leave a church in the future. When that happens, I hope you\u2019ll remember the points of this post.","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":715993,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"publish_to_discourse":"0","publish_post_category":"1","wpdc_auto_publish_overridden":"","wpdc_topic_tags":"","wpdc_pin_topic":"","wpdc_pin_until":"","discourse_post_id":"","discourse_permalink":"","wpdc_publishing_response":"","wpdc_publishing_error":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[195,190,192,177],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-715992","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-conflict-and-people-problems","category-family","category-how-to","category-lead"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why the Way You Leave a Church is More Important than How You Came | Church Answers<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As a layperson or staff member, it\u2019s likely you\u2019ve left a church at some point \u2013 or will leave a church in the future. When you do, remember these points.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why the Way You Leave a Church is More Important than How You Came | Church Answers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As a layperson or staff member, it\u2019s likely you\u2019ve left a church at some point \u2013 or will leave a church in the future. When you do, remember these points.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Church Answers\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-07-15T01:30:56+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/jornada-produtora-UHSjj-7jPYQ-unsplash.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"800\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Chuck Lawless\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Chuck Lawless\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Chuck Lawless\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/#\/schema\/person\/09e294734245d3978e67deffd6991c7f\"},\"headline\":\"Why the Way You Leave a Church is More Important than How You Came\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-07-15T01:30:56+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/\"},\"wordCount\":341,\"commentCount\":50,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/jornada-produtora-UHSjj-7jPYQ-unsplash.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Conflict &amp; People Problems\",\"Family\",\"How To\",\"Lead\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/\",\"name\":\"Why the Way You Leave a Church is More Important than How You Came | Church Answers\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/jornada-produtora-UHSjj-7jPYQ-unsplash.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-07-15T01:30:56+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/#\/schema\/person\/09e294734245d3978e67deffd6991c7f\"},\"description\":\"As a layperson or staff member, it\u2019s likely you\u2019ve left a church at some point \u2013 or will leave a church in the future. When you do, remember these points.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/jornada-produtora-UHSjj-7jPYQ-unsplash.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/jornada-produtora-UHSjj-7jPYQ-unsplash.jpg\",\"width\":1200,\"height\":800},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Why the Way You Leave a Church is More Important than How You Came\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/\",\"name\":\"Church Answers\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/#\/schema\/person\/09e294734245d3978e67deffd6991c7f\",\"name\":\"Chuck Lawless\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b99cf3a5686c69c6ee0fa69473f5a659bee7daaa31ff24217be46675fd10a5bd?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b99cf3a5686c69c6ee0fa69473f5a659bee7daaa31ff24217be46675fd10a5bd?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Chuck Lawless\"},\"description\":\"Dr. Chuck Lawless is a leading expert in spiritual consultation, discipleship and mentoring. As a former pastor, he understands the challenges ministry presents and works with Church Answers to provide advice and counsel for church leaders.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/author\/clawless\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Why the Way You Leave a Church is More Important than How You Came | Church Answers","description":"As a layperson or staff member, it\u2019s likely you\u2019ve left a church at some point \u2013 or will leave a church in the future. When you do, remember these points.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Why the Way You Leave a Church is More Important than How You Came | Church Answers","og_description":"As a layperson or staff member, it\u2019s likely you\u2019ve left a church at some point \u2013 or will leave a church in the future. When you do, remember these points.","og_url":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/","og_site_name":"Church Answers","article_published_time":"2020-07-15T01:30:56+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1200,"height":800,"url":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/jornada-produtora-UHSjj-7jPYQ-unsplash.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Chuck Lawless","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Chuck Lawless","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/"},"author":{"name":"Chuck Lawless","@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/#\/schema\/person\/09e294734245d3978e67deffd6991c7f"},"headline":"Why the Way You Leave a Church is More Important than How You Came","datePublished":"2020-07-15T01:30:56+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/"},"wordCount":341,"commentCount":50,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/jornada-produtora-UHSjj-7jPYQ-unsplash.jpg","articleSection":["Conflict &amp; People Problems","Family","How To","Lead"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/","url":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/","name":"Why the Way You Leave a Church is More Important than How You Came | Church Answers","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/jornada-produtora-UHSjj-7jPYQ-unsplash.jpg","datePublished":"2020-07-15T01:30:56+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/#\/schema\/person\/09e294734245d3978e67deffd6991c7f"},"description":"As a layperson or staff member, it\u2019s likely you\u2019ve left a church at some point \u2013 or will leave a church in the future. When you do, remember these points.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/jornada-produtora-UHSjj-7jPYQ-unsplash.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/jornada-produtora-UHSjj-7jPYQ-unsplash.jpg","width":1200,"height":800},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/why-the-way-you-leave-a-church-is-more-important-than-how-you-came\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Why the Way You Leave a Church is More Important than How You Came"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/","name":"Church Answers","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/#\/schema\/person\/09e294734245d3978e67deffd6991c7f","name":"Chuck Lawless","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b99cf3a5686c69c6ee0fa69473f5a659bee7daaa31ff24217be46675fd10a5bd?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/b99cf3a5686c69c6ee0fa69473f5a659bee7daaa31ff24217be46675fd10a5bd?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Chuck Lawless"},"description":"Dr. Chuck Lawless is a leading expert in spiritual consultation, discipleship and mentoring. As a former pastor, he understands the challenges ministry presents and works with Church Answers to provide advice and counsel for church leaders.","url":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/blog\/author\/clawless\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/715992","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=715992"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/715992\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":715994,"href":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/715992\/revisions\/715994"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/715993"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=715992"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=715992"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/churchanswers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=715992"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}