I am a bona fide redneck at heart. I was born and raised in LA (lower Alabama), and I currently live in Tennessee. I love country music, boiled goobers, Bama football, and at least one cold one a day (diet coke). I was so ingrained in Southern culture as a child that I thought anything north of Birmingham was Yankee territory.<\/p>\n
With my unashamed redneck background, I am inestimably equipped to understand and share redneck vocabulary. As you can imagine, these are not original with me; they are pervasive on the Internet. For today, I will share with you what rednecks hear when they hear a medical term. Enjoy.<\/p>\n
Artery \u2013 the study of paintings.<\/p>\n
Bacteria \u2013 back door to the cafeteria.<\/p>\n
Barium \u2013 what doctors do when patients die.<\/p>\n
Benign \u2013 what you be after you be eight.<\/p>\n
Cat scan \u2013 searching for kitty.<\/p>\n
Cauterize \u2013 made eye contact with her.<\/p>\n
Colic \u2013 a sheep dog.<\/p>\n
Coma \u2013 a punctuation mark.<\/p>\n
Dilate \u2013 to live long.<\/p>\n
Enema \u2013 not a friend.<\/p>\n
Fester \u2013 quicker than someone else.<\/p>\n
Fibula \u2013 a small lie.<\/p>\n
Labor pain \u2013 getting hurt at work.<\/p>\n
Morbid \u2013 a higher offer on eBay.<\/p>\n
Nitrates \u2013 rates of pay for working at night (usually higher than day rates).<\/p>\n
Node \u2013 I knew it.<\/p>\n
Outpatient \u2013 a patient who fainted.<\/p>\n
Pelvis \u2013 second cousin to Elvis.<\/p>\n
Post operative \u2013 a mailman.<\/p>\n
Recovery room \u2013 place to do upholstery.<\/p>\n
Rectum \u2013 nearly killed him.<\/p>\n
Secretion \u2013 hiding something.<\/p>\n
Seizure \u2013 a Roman emperor.<\/p>\n
Terminal illness \u2013 getting sick at the airport.<\/p>\n
Tumor \u2013 one plus one more.<\/p>\n
Urine \u2013 opposite of you\u2019re out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I am a bona fide redneck at heart. I was born and raised in LA (lower Alabama), and I currently live in Tennessee. I love country music, boiled goobers, Bama football, and at least one cold one a day (diet coke). I was so ingrained in Southern culture as a child that I thought anything…","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":756,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"publish_to_discourse":"0","publish_post_category":"1","wpdc_auto_publish_overridden":"","wpdc_topic_tags":"","wpdc_pin_topic":"","wpdc_pin_until":"","discourse_post_id":"","discourse_permalink":"","wpdc_publishing_response":"","wpdc_publishing_error":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-754","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-church-answers"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n