By Chuck Lawless
Several years ago, more than one study showed large percentages of unchurched would consider attending a church if someone simply invited them. The problem is not the attitude of the unchurched; rather, it is often the failure of church members to invite others. When my church consulting teams have asked church members about their reticence to invite others to church, here are ten responses we have often heard (listed in no particular order):
- “I just don’t think about it.” – Many church members have contact with the unchurched every week, if not every day. They go to school with them, work with them, live beside them – and sometimes live with them. What church folks don’t do, though, is see the unchurched as “sheep without a shepherd” (Matt. 9:36), as spiritual beings in need of redemption and a church family.
- “I’m afraid I’ll be rejected.” – Nobody likes to be turned down, especially after taking the risk to invite somebody to church. It’s just easier to avoid that possibility by not inviting anyone at all (interestingly, church members could tell us times when others said “no,” but few could tell us of times when they were rudely or unkindly rejected).
- “The music isn’t that good.” – Some may argue the worship wars are over, but the battles seem to be ongoing. Our teams continue to hear refrains like, “it’s too loud,” “it’s too boring,” “we sing it over and over again,” and “nobody knows the songs.” Church members who themselves don’t enjoy the music don’t readily invite others to join them.
- “The preaching isn’t strong.” – This response was seemingly the most painful one to admit. Church members who love their pastors do not want to hurt them, but they spoke honestly to our consulting teams. When the preaching is poor, invitations to the unchurched decrease.
- “We’ve got too many church problems right now.” – Church members don’t always know all the issues facing a congregation, but they frequently recognize when something “just isn’t right.” They see the attendance decreasing, or they hear of internal conflict. Simply stated, they do not invite their friends onto a battleground.
- “Our church is already too crowded.” – This issue is particularly an American one, as Americans protect our personal space. We don’t like being cramped, even in church. Moreover, we don’t want to have to search for a parking space before entering that already crowded building. One way to avoid more crowding is to stop inviting anyone.
- “Nobody ever challenged me to invite anyone.” – This reason is related to the first one on this list. Some church members never think about inviting others because no one has challenged them to do so. This response is especially tragic if many unchurched would respond affirmatively to an invitation.
- “I don’t know how to start the conversation.” – Simply inviting somebody to church would seem easy, but that’s not the case for many church members. In a culture where discussing religion or politics is almost forbidden, even long-term Christians struggle with initiating an invitation to church.
- “It’s the Spirit’s job—not mine—to bring people to church.” – To be fair, we have heard this response primarily from congregations seeking to avoid any “man-centered” approach to evangelism. In their zeal to keep their focus on God, they walk cautiously when considering their role in evangelism – including simply inviting others to church.
- “It’s too far for people to come.” – We live in a mobile culture that promotes church attendance sometimes quite far from where we live. Our teams have learned, however, that church members who drive a long distance are less willing to invite others to drive that same distance.
What reasons would you add to this list? What steps have you taken to address these responses?
Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.
Posted on July 15, 2014
Dr. Chuck Lawless is a leading expert in spiritual consultation, discipleship and mentoring. As a former pastor, he understands the challenges ministry presents and works with Church Answers to provide advice and counsel for church leaders.
More from Chuck
125 Comments
I opened to invite
Some folks to church,
Its funny my friend
Invite me to church
Or any other place in
Public, im not ugly.
I guess I’ve always felt that to get much out of church you’ve basically already got to be a christian or on the cusp of committing. I feel like I talk with my unsaved friends about Jesus a fair bit.. but I can’t really see them enjoying a hymn or a hillsong tune, and a good discussion about theology is very different from siting down, being quiet and listening to whatever the pastor wants to preach about, even when they’re a good pastor. We’re talking
Like, last church the pastor did a great sermon about jesus healing the dead girl in Mark. It was a great bit of teaching… but is it something that an unsaved person would care too much about? Probably not!
Essentially, church as we know it is not designed for non christians.
sorry, last church service I went to the guy talked about Mark.
I have to take an opposing view on this one. Personally I believe today’s church at large has such a screwed up view of evangelism it’s no wonder the church is failing in its mission. I believe this for several reasons. First, show me an example from Scripture this is how evangelism is done. For instance, when Jesus stood at the tree looking up at Zacchaeus, did he say “Zacchaeus, you come down because I’m going to take you to the local synagogue. They’re having a great program there and I really think you are going to like it!”? No! He said “I’m going to your house today.” Jesus shared his good news with Zacchaeus right where he lived and was condemned for eating and talking with ‘publicans and sinners’. The same goes for the woman at the well. Jesus didn’t suggest they go to the Temple … they would have headed in different directions! Jesus sat right there and had a discussion with her about her condition. How about the Apostle Paul and Agrippa. Or when he was on Mars Hill. Was his argument that they should all go to church? Heaven forbid! He shared the Gospel with them. There are other examples but the point is evangelism is not inviting the unsaved to church. Evangelism is sharing the Gospel right where you are. It always confuses me why the church seeks to invite the unsaved to church to do something they CAN’T do … worship, and then change worship to somehow try to accommodate the very people that can’t do it. Evangelism has been degraded into “Invite your neighbor to church Sunday” and then it’s the pastor’s job to share the Gospel. Instead of the Church being an army of people going about sharing we relegate the group down to one person Sunday mornings. Think about it. Why not rather teach people to share their faith. Teach them to have an answer for everyone who asks the reason for the hope that lies in them. Leave the worship of the saints as the time for the saints to get fed and charged up to go out into the world to preach the Gospel to every living creature. Then, and only then, we might start seeing the church have an effect on the world again.
This is a great article. I think the biggest issue is that people are not following the greatest and simplest of commandments, “love your neighbor.” I would like to ask including myself how many of us actually know the names of our neighbors? How many of us actually know things that are observable about our neighbors? How many of us actually know so,etching about our neighbors that we ultimately would not know unless we had a relationship with them?
Evangelism is important! It is not the most important of all things. If you look at Acts 2:42-47 we notice that it starts with building a foundation with individuals and then the opportunity comes to share Christ/invitation. Please don’t misconstrue what I am trying to say, “inviting or evangelizing someone when The Lord prompts you is a different story.”
The likelihood of someone joining you at church or receiving Christ that you have not built a relationship with is very slim. Versus having spent time with them getting to know them. Not only knowing their name, but you also know intimate details about their life and they know things about you. Their is something very special about digging in and getting dirty around the Gospel. Remember they are real people with real names, so get to know them! Love your neighbors! (Meaning: coworkers, your actual neighbors)
I know some of this might be unpopular in some circles, but it very important to consider!
A great resource that has helped shape my view is the book called “The Art of Neighboring” by Jay Pathak and Dave Runyon.