By Chuck Lawless
Several years ago, more than one study showed large percentages of unchurched would consider attending a church if someone simply invited them. The problem is not the attitude of the unchurched; rather, it is often the failure of church members to invite others. When my church consulting teams have asked church members about their reticence to invite others to church, here are ten responses we have often heard (listed in no particular order):
- “I just don’t think about it.” – Many church members have contact with the unchurched every week, if not every day. They go to school with them, work with them, live beside them – and sometimes live with them. What church folks don’t do, though, is see the unchurched as “sheep without a shepherd” (Matt. 9:36), as spiritual beings in need of redemption and a church family.
- “I’m afraid I’ll be rejected.” – Nobody likes to be turned down, especially after taking the risk to invite somebody to church. It’s just easier to avoid that possibility by not inviting anyone at all (interestingly, church members could tell us times when others said “no,” but few could tell us of times when they were rudely or unkindly rejected).
- “The music isn’t that good.” – Some may argue the worship wars are over, but the battles seem to be ongoing. Our teams continue to hear refrains like, “it’s too loud,” “it’s too boring,” “we sing it over and over again,” and “nobody knows the songs.” Church members who themselves don’t enjoy the music don’t readily invite others to join them.
- “The preaching isn’t strong.” – This response was seemingly the most painful one to admit. Church members who love their pastors do not want to hurt them, but they spoke honestly to our consulting teams. When the preaching is poor, invitations to the unchurched decrease.
- “We’ve got too many church problems right now.” – Church members don’t always know all the issues facing a congregation, but they frequently recognize when something “just isn’t right.” They see the attendance decreasing, or they hear of internal conflict. Simply stated, they do not invite their friends onto a battleground.
- “Our church is already too crowded.” – This issue is particularly an American one, as Americans protect our personal space. We don’t like being cramped, even in church. Moreover, we don’t want to have to search for a parking space before entering that already crowded building. One way to avoid more crowding is to stop inviting anyone.
- “Nobody ever challenged me to invite anyone.” – This reason is related to the first one on this list. Some church members never think about inviting others because no one has challenged them to do so. This response is especially tragic if many unchurched would respond affirmatively to an invitation.
- “I don’t know how to start the conversation.” – Simply inviting somebody to church would seem easy, but that’s not the case for many church members. In a culture where discussing religion or politics is almost forbidden, even long-term Christians struggle with initiating an invitation to church.
- “It’s the Spirit’s job—not mine—to bring people to church.” – To be fair, we have heard this response primarily from congregations seeking to avoid any “man-centered” approach to evangelism. In their zeal to keep their focus on God, they walk cautiously when considering their role in evangelism – including simply inviting others to church.
- “It’s too far for people to come.” – We live in a mobile culture that promotes church attendance sometimes quite far from where we live. Our teams have learned, however, that church members who drive a long distance are less willing to invite others to drive that same distance.
What reasons would you add to this list? What steps have you taken to address these responses?
Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.
Posted on July 15, 2014
Dr. Chuck Lawless is a leading expert in spiritual consultation, discipleship and mentoring. As a former pastor, he understands the challenges ministry presents and works with Church Answers to provide advice and counsel for church leaders.
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125 Comments
I agree with several of the earlier comments that point us toward the idea that our focus should be on inviting lost people to Christ, not to church. I really don’t believe that lost people understand why we do what we do in our sanctuaries on Sunday morning (or whenever your worship time happens to take place.) While I do believe that our worship should be a witness to anyone who is present and not a believer, I don’t believe that the focus of our worship should be on them. The focus of worship should be on our God and hopefully by witnessing our passionate love and devotion toward God, those who are present and without Christ may come to Him. I do believe that our invitations to the lost who live around us should be to come to Christ. We should do that in an “organic” way out of the day-to-day relationships that we have built at the barber shop, in the grocery store/hardware store, on the job…wherever we have relationships with lost people. When they come to Christ we can then introduce them to the idea that they were created to express their love and devotion to this God who loves them so much through the experience of worship.
I don’t disagree with you, Mark, though I also think we should want to invite people to join us when God is doing great things through His church.
I actually heard someone say: “There are plenty of churches around and we don’t need that in our church.”
Sorry to hear that, Russ.
The only reason I ever hesitate is because of the unfriendly people in the church and/or even mean-rude people. Its not always a nice place to bring guests.
True, Denise. We need to remind ourselves to be friendly, I’m afraid.
I am a senior citizen who has been a Christian since childhood, and I have never been more interested in inviting friends or neighbors to a church, the one we have been attending since moving here two years ago. Not all say yes, but some do, and that is enough to encourage me.
I agree that personal evangelism is the best way to start with a non-believer, but many do not have the confidence to try it. It is often easier to invite someone to church and take them with you.
I have seen so many non-believers or non-committed come to Christ in our local church that I am convinced that inviting folks is working here. I think it is because this local congregation is doing everything it can to make visitors welcome and present the gospel in a clear and relevant way to the believer and the non-believer. It is so easy to invite people to this exciting and growing church. I know they have never heard better preaching or been to a more welcoming church, and I know they probably have a completely different idea of what “church” would be like if they have never been to church, or not since they were kids. Everything is done to proclaim Christ and his Word as the answer to fill the emptiness we all feel without Christ, and the testimonies of those who “get it” are bringing more and helping to win more. When people see what the Holy Spirit has done in the lives of others, they want Him for themselves.
I think the success here comes from a truly committed leadership who show Christ in their own lives and show love for the lost, both locally and around the world. Members are encouraged to volunteer to serve in some way, and most do, enthusiastically. The numerous volunteers contribute greatly to the success. Members are also encouraged to invite people, but most would do it anyway, I think.
If you are not part of a church where the Bible is preached and Jesus is constantly pointed to as the answer and the Only Way to salvation, find a different church. Find a Christ following church where you are excited to go and excited to take others and start inviting them. Their salvation may depend on your doing what no church leader will ever have the opportunity to do–invite YOUR friends. Picture them in an eternity without God, and get some boldness.
Appreciate the encouraging word, Rick.
Building not handi -capped accessible. Bathroom downstairs, not upstairs. Churches focus more on elderly and not on the younger 30 and under. Need a happy medium.
Good thoughts, Debbie.
I’m sorry to say that most of the people in my current church are socially awkward (even the leaders) and others very introverted so it’s not very welcoming to newcomers (not to mention atheists and other non-believers) though the leaders seem completely unaware of the situation and are puzzled as to why new people aren’t coming and/or staying. I’ve brought about 10 people on different Sundays but none of them has felt comfortable. May God have mercy on us is my prayer and cause people to come to Christ despite ourselves.
You might also pray that God will raise up some extroverts in your congregation. 🙂 Thanks, Anonymous.
Thanks for the great article! I recents pleaded with my congregation to stop inviting people to church and start inviting them to Christ. Our greatest need is not getting people coming to church but getting people becoming the church. And, I believe, the greatest reason folks are not inviting (to church or Christ) is because of sin. When sin is active in a believers life, it cripples. Sin shatters boldness and dissipates power. We find it difficult to look at ourselves in the mirror let alone into the eyes of someone else trying to proclaim Christ while conviction screams “hypocrite”!
My two cents!
Thanks again for the great post.
Tom
Agreed. The article suggests that inviting people to church is part of evangelism, but I don’t know that such is a scriptural concept at all.
Thanks, Tom. I agree that our priority MUST be to invite people to Christ, and inviting them to church is not enough. On the other hand, inviting them to church is at least a start if their friends hear the gospel and see it lived out there.
Dr. Lawless,
Agreed. However, when we just invite to church what are we communicating to the lost? Salvation is tied to a building? A group of people? Sounds pretty legalistic and ritualistic to the unbeliever. Furthermore, why would an unbeliever have any desire to attend a church? That desire is given through salvation (Mt. 5:6)
And, just inviting people to church throws urgency out the window. If we walk away from the lost with a church invite and they die from a heart attack on Saturday night…
Lastly, if we just invite folks to church, are we to argue the theology and doctrinal issues in support of our particular church, or when we walk away will they think “I will start going to my Aunts Mormon church, all churches must be ok”.
So many issues in my mind as to why we should not primarily invite the lost to church that can all be remedied if we stick to biblical evangelism and love the lost enough to boldly proclaim “repent and be baptized.”
Thanks for the great conversation. And for your ministry, I’ve always been a fan. Praying for your ministry!!
Tom
Lack of Commitment.
If you invite someone to attend church and they agree to come, you are obligated to attend yourself. We have churches full of members who attend when something else doesn’t arise. This is not exclusive to the “pew dwellers”, but leaders (deacons, Sunday school teachers, etc.) How embarrassing if you invite someone, they attend and don’t see you there.
Good point, Heather. Thanks.
Whenever a member states that they do no have any friends outside the church or that they do not know who to invite, I ask to see their Facebook page and their friends list. Then I ask them, when was the last time you invited them to hear the Word of God and come Worship? Surprising reaction: I never thought of that!!! Technology can be great.
Used properly, technology can indeed be a great tool. Thanks, Alex.