Please read these first few sentences before you look at the subheadings. I want to be clear about a few points.
First, some pastors are fired for moral failure. This article does not address that category of firing. Second, my article makes some church members the bad guys. I want to be clear that they are the exception and not the rule. Third, I realize that each firing has its unique characteristics. What you will read is a typical pattern, not a fixed sequence of events for every dismissal of a pastor.
This article reflects on seven phases of the firing of a pastor. I have worked with countless pastors who shared their stories with me. These phases are common in many of them. Also, I will use a recent conversation to provide a real narrative of a real pastor in a real church. I made some slight adjustments to protect the identities of the pastor and the church.
Phase 1: The Pastor Made a Decision a Power Broker Did Not Like.
This phase can begin with an individual or with a small group of members. It can be cumulative decisions or one decision. The church I’m using as my case study began with one person who had significant influence in the church. The pastor declined to recommend the power broker’s family member for the open worship minister position.
Phase 2: The Power Broker Forms a Negative Coalition Against the Pastor.
At this point, the pastor has no idea that the power broker is working against him. He is still unaware that any opposition is taking place. The power broker never meets with the pastor. Instead, he goes directly to the personnel committee of the church. It is a strategic move by the power broker. He has considerable influence over five of the seven members. The other two are weak and will not question the power broker. Also, the personnel committee acts as the pastor’s supervisor.
Phase 3: The Negative Coalition Gathers “Fake Facts” Against the Pastor.
The power broker never mentions the issue of his family member not being recommended for the worship minister position. Instead, he leads several of the members of the personnel committee to create a false narrative about the pastor. “He didn’t visit Jane in the hospital when she had surgery.” “He spoke rudely to Marion.” “He made some decisions where he did not have authority.” “People are saying that the pastor hardly ever works.” “People are saying that he is not friendly to anyone.” “People are saying that all the new members who have joined the church under his tenure are causing trouble.”
Phase 4: The Negative Coalition Asks to Meet with the Pastor.
The pastor is caught off guard by the requested and unscheduled meeting with the personnel committee. The pastor contacted me (Thom) to ask if he should be worried. I told him that I was concerned and that he should be prepared even though he couldn’t think of any reason why there would be a problem. The expressions and body language of the personnel committee immediately communicated a bad situation to the pastor when he came to the meeting, especially since he thought most of them were his friends.
Phase 5: The Negative Coalition Presents the Concerns to the Pastor and Asks for his Resignation.
All of the concerns were false and prefaced with these three cowardly words, “People are saying.” The pastor’s first thought is to fight the charges since he knows they are false, but the power broker makes a sinister comment without explanation, “If you do not resign, your family will suffer.” The pastor accepts the four months of offered severance and signs a non-disclosure agreement (NDA). The NDA clearly stipulates that if he says anything negative about the church, he will lose his severance.
Phase 6: The Pastor Announces his Resignation the following Sunday during the Worship Service.
The NDA prevented him from saying anything other than that the dismissal was not due to moral failure. The church is stunned. The absence of any explanation causes the rumor mill to create multiple false narratives.
Phase 7: No One Comes to the Pastor’s Defense.
This church is congregational in its polity. The personnel committee does not have the authority to fire a pastor without a congregational vote. Such is the reason the personnel committee demanded his resignation. Any member of the church could have met with the personnel committee and demanded transparency. But no one was willing to rock the boat. Pastors typically tell me that this phase is the most painful. One pastor called it “the sinful silence of the majority.”
In this particular case, the pastor was able to receive a call to another church just as the severance ran out. Most pastors are not that fortunate. A number of pastors never return to vocational ministry after such a traumatic event. The pastor and his family are traumatized.
In most cases, the church that fires the pastors suffers as well, sometimes for years. One member of the church noted in my story told me, “I will regret forever that I did not speak up. It took me a year to ask my former pastor for forgiveness. Since the evil event took place, it’s like a cloud of darkness is over our church. I wonder if it will ever go away.”
It is a sad story. It is a tragic story.
Sadly, it is a story that is much too common.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
Posted on November 11, 2024
With nearly 40 years of ministry experience, Thom Rainer has spent a lifetime committed to the growth and health of local churches across North America.
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101 Comments
Been there and experienced that.
It remains painful.
The lies were horrendous.
I love the Lord, and attend/ volunteer at a different church in a different state.
But I am no longer a vocational pastor.
Never again – ever – will I subject my family to the pain of drawing income from a church.
Yes, the pain is often greatest among our family members.
I have seen the power brokers demand either the pastor leaves or we leave as an ultimatum like 7 phases above, but then leave the church even after the pastor resigns. They don’t want to deal with the chaos and questions from the majority who are disheartened that the pastor resigned.
You are right, Ikki. It is part of a common pattern.
I am going through this right now.
#7 is a head scratcher as I’ve watched it unfold. People who ‘ loved me ‘ had the biggest knives to plunge into mu back and twist.
The situation is really similar except I fought the power, went to the business meeting with the mob, and resigned half way through because of the falsehoods that were being told and the open, public and humiliating attacks the deacons made against my wife
I will likely never pastor an established church again after this experience.
Maybe a plant or revitalization but I can’t out my family through this trauma again.
That’s incredibly painful. I am so sorry.
Your article describes in nearly identical fashion to what I personally experienced in a church that I previously served. In my situation, the church was looking backward to having a previous pastor return to serve them, and in fact, that previous pastor was back at the church only two weeks later, and then was voted in as the new pastor.
It has taken me years to overcome the trauma of that experience, and even to this day, certain events or experiences will trigger an emotion within me from that past.
Fortunately, I have been able to successfully move forward to pastoring another church for the past nine years. Also, I have been used by God to help and walk with a number of other pastors who have experienced this all-too-common situation.
I would highly recommend the book “Moving On” by Deanna Harrison. She and her husband have gone through this very experience, and she wrote this book to help others. You can view the information here – http://deannaharrison.com
Thanks for the recommendation, Tim.
I witnessed my husband go through each stage but one. My husband didn’t let the power broker, who was also personnel chair, control the situation. He resigned before he was forced out. Like the example not a single person asked why, tried to change his mind, or offered any help. It took over a year and good counseling before he was called to another church.
That silent majority is indeed one of the most painful aspects of these firings.
Spot on! Sounds like you were in the deacon’s meeting at my former church. . . almost word for word . Affected not only me deeply, but my sons, who are all pastors in other churches. To the chagrin of the power brokers, I’m serving the Lord in another area of ministry. Praise God. But so sad to hear of the frequency of these types of actions.
Andy –
I am grateful that God sustained you and your family.
The details of section 1 were different but falls into the same category described. The only major difference was the fact that I did not have to sign a non-disclosure agreement. I was wondering if you had taken my situation and used it as your example. This has happened twice in my 39+ years of ministry. The first time I was too young and naive to know any different, so I resigned while God had spoken to my heart to NOT do so. The second time, I received an OK from God to leave. I was cowardly in both instances by NOT speaking up and make them take it to a vote from the church body so that everyone would know what happened. I did not want to split the church, but it happened anyway both times. I should have made the perpetrators make their case publicly and then let the consequences fall on their heads. God has a way of doing things to correct people in His time and His way. The hurt incurred by my family has been intense, long-lasting, disruptive of my family’s future ministry participation, and injured my marriage. God would not let me leave the ministry (I could not even get a job in a factory or the post office. I can pass a pee test any time and show up to work on time every day.), and I tried real hard! I am in a sweet church now, healing from previous wounds yet always looking over my shoulder for the next same situation to raise its ugly head. My first time it happened, only one pastor in my Association kept contact with me. I determined that I would not leave another pastor left alone after such an incidence. I have walked with more than a dozen pastors since that time. I encourage whoever reads this to walk with the wounded pastors who have experienced this.
That’s powerful. May God use you to raise up tens of thousands of pastors to walk alongside these wounded warriors.
I’m sorry this has happened to some of you. However, if you have been in the private sector, you will know that there is no job security. Your job can be eliminated with 5 minutes’ notice, and network access is often revoked immediately. It is why you (need to) have a network and spend a lot of effort building and maintaining it. At least in the private sector you know the management chain. Sometimes you get an idea that eliminations are coming and resign in advance. In churches, you know the official power structure (be it congregational or a bishop) but don’t always know the unofficial power structure. As a kid, I once saw a minister’s dismissal coming and sent him word to start looking.
I was the associate pastor at a church where the scenario described happened to the lead pastor. I am now the lead pastor at a church with a reputation as a “preacher-eater.” As Steve McQueen put it in the Magnificent Seven, “It reminds me of that fellow back home who fell off a 10-story building. As he was falling people on every floor kept hearing him say “so far. so good.” Well, so far, so good.”
Someone who fancied himself a “power broker” in the church tried to do this to me. He got mad at me over some trivial reason, and he tried to rally the deacons against me. Thankfully, the deacons didn’t buy the bill of goods he was trying to sell, and he ended up leaving us. He inflicted a lot of damage in the process, though.
Yes, even attempted firings can be painful.
You nailed that one. Spit on.
Thanks, John.
Had the same thing happen…that is the silence of the church. I had the “power broker” sin against me…he had the church secretary literally change my message to the church in a weekly newsletter called the Pastor’s Pen. When confronted, I asked him to not do that without my consent. A few months later he did so again. I asked for and received a meeting with the elders. It was obviously 3 against 1. Sad. I told them that IAW Matthew 18…I had talked to the elder, then to he and the other elders…so now I will bring it before the church. Well, the same day I received an email from the elders banning me from coming onto church property. So, I did the only thing that I could do to fulfill my obligation in Mt 18…I sent all members an email. I have since planted a new church. It is small, but we are honoring and preaching the Word and loving people. The story that you shared is all too common. Men think that they own the church which they attend. Maybe they do…but the real church belongs to the Lord!
Wow. What an incredibly sad story.
When I was appointed an elder at our congregation 25 years ago, an outgoing grizzled patriarch said, “when members come to you saying ‘did you hear about. ?’, you look them in the eye and say ‘what did they say when you talked to them about this?’. This will honor Scripture (Matt 18) and quickly identify who has the problem and how big it is. This wise council helped us help people grow in their faith as they followed Jesus’s teachings and avoided countless petty disagreements.
That’s a good word, Jerry.