By Chuck Lawless
Several years ago, more than one study showed large percentages of unchurched would consider attending a church if someone simply invited them. The problem is not the attitude of the unchurched; rather, it is often the failure of church members to invite others. When my church consulting teams have asked church members about their reticence to invite others to church, here are ten responses we have often heard (listed in no particular order):
- “I just don’t think about it.” – Many church members have contact with the unchurched every week, if not every day. They go to school with them, work with them, live beside them – and sometimes live with them. What church folks don’t do, though, is see the unchurched as “sheep without a shepherd” (Matt. 9:36), as spiritual beings in need of redemption and a church family.
- “I’m afraid I’ll be rejected.” – Nobody likes to be turned down, especially after taking the risk to invite somebody to church. It’s just easier to avoid that possibility by not inviting anyone at all (interestingly, church members could tell us times when others said “no,” but few could tell us of times when they were rudely or unkindly rejected).
- “The music isn’t that good.” – Some may argue the worship wars are over, but the battles seem to be ongoing. Our teams continue to hear refrains like, “it’s too loud,” “it’s too boring,” “we sing it over and over again,” and “nobody knows the songs.” Church members who themselves don’t enjoy the music don’t readily invite others to join them.
- “The preaching isn’t strong.” – This response was seemingly the most painful one to admit. Church members who love their pastors do not want to hurt them, but they spoke honestly to our consulting teams. When the preaching is poor, invitations to the unchurched decrease.
- “We’ve got too many church problems right now.” – Church members don’t always know all the issues facing a congregation, but they frequently recognize when something “just isn’t right.” They see the attendance decreasing, or they hear of internal conflict. Simply stated, they do not invite their friends onto a battleground.
- “Our church is already too crowded.” – This issue is particularly an American one, as Americans protect our personal space. We don’t like being cramped, even in church. Moreover, we don’t want to have to search for a parking space before entering that already crowded building. One way to avoid more crowding is to stop inviting anyone.
- “Nobody ever challenged me to invite anyone.” – This reason is related to the first one on this list. Some church members never think about inviting others because no one has challenged them to do so. This response is especially tragic if many unchurched would respond affirmatively to an invitation.
- “I don’t know how to start the conversation.” – Simply inviting somebody to church would seem easy, but that’s not the case for many church members. In a culture where discussing religion or politics is almost forbidden, even long-term Christians struggle with initiating an invitation to church.
- “It’s the Spirit’s job—not mine—to bring people to church.” – To be fair, we have heard this response primarily from congregations seeking to avoid any “man-centered” approach to evangelism. In their zeal to keep their focus on God, they walk cautiously when considering their role in evangelism – including simply inviting others to church.
- “It’s too far for people to come.” – We live in a mobile culture that promotes church attendance sometimes quite far from where we live. Our teams have learned, however, that church members who drive a long distance are less willing to invite others to drive that same distance.
What reasons would you add to this list? What steps have you taken to address these responses?
Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.
Posted on July 15, 2014
Dr. Chuck Lawless is a leading expert in spiritual consultation, discipleship and mentoring. As a former pastor, he understands the challenges ministry presents and works with Church Answers to provide advice and counsel for church leaders.
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125 Comments
I believe that this world has become so anti-Christian that the fear of people telling us that we have no right to “push” our beliefs on others becomes more than we want to deal with. Will we be reported to HR at work, will the liberal friends that we have not have anything to do with us. The list goes on. I completely understand why this is not a good excuse but I nonetheless feel it is a very real issue for many people.
Thanks for your input, Laura.
I have a question as food for thought; and my question does not mean I am indicating we not to invite unbelievers to worship.
Is there any indication in Scripture that believers were encouraged to invite unbelievers to corporate worship?
I’ve thought about that a lot. Scripture actually seems to assume that people will worship. The problem in scripture wasn’t that people failed to worship – it was that they were worshiping the wrong thing. I think our problem is the same. People give themselves to what they believe is worthy of their time, talent, and treasure. The solution for Jesus wasn’t to invite people to synagogue or temple, but to invite people to follow him. Then he commissioned those who had followed him to help others follow him (aka “make disciples). If we made disciples who made disciples, we would have worshipers. But if we spend energy trying to make worshipers, we won’t likely make many disciples. And that touches your point – many of Jesus disciples followed him quite a while before they became what we would call believers. That’s more food for thought.
Jesse, there is much that could be said on this issue. You’ve only scratched the surface (as you know). If the Scriptural prescription and description of making disciples does not include inviting people to worship (church), then why do we so often focus on this method? It seems the primary NT method of evangelism was not inviting people to worship who do not believe, but sharing the gospel outside of corporate worship.
I’m not advocating never inviting unbelievers to church, but throwing caution that this should not be a primary focus nor concern. The very definition of “church” includes believers or there would be no church. There is a sacredness, a fear even, in worship that today’s Christian’s don’t seem to have as we find in the book of Acts, for example.
I think our call to and ability in evangelism begins with personal and corporate holiness. Corporate worship toward the holy, living God is a sacred and beautiful thing not to be taken lightly.
1 Corinthians 14 indicates that unbelievers may be among the gathered, though I agree that the scriptures do not mandate inviting the lost to church. On the other hand, doing so does not contradict scripture, and it can facilitate others coming to Christ if they hear the gospel there. I agree that our primary focus must be on inviting others to Christ. Thanks, Mark.
A few thoughts:
1. Some people don’t invite others because they don’t really believe what their church is saying anyway either due to unbelief, or need to leave for a good church.
2. I don’t usually invite people to church because I evangelize lost people. I preach the gospel and I tell people to repent of their sin and trust Jesus Christ for forgiveness of sins. So, in my case, inviting people to church is secondary to explaining the gospel to them.
3. I do agree that there is nothing wrong with inviting people to church and I bring people to church often for special events, in particular.
I particularly agree with Helen’s sentiment below. I spend the week with the lost; I love ’em, and want them saved. But I prefer for my own personal sake to worship and pray with other believers and to have some time of koinonia with my brothers at church and time to seriously worship our great God.
The presence of nonbelievers at church can make that difficult as the time of assembly and worship can be turned into a time of evangelism with the newcomer. As well, we’ve had people invite their unsaved friends to our prayer meeting. How awkward it is to try to explain to someone unsaved why I cannot allow them to pray!
Is it possible we are asking the wrong question? Is it possible that worship is for the uplifting, equipping and nurture of the disciples to enable them to go forth to preach, teach and baptize in Jesus name? Should worship be small enclaves of faithful servants seeking God so they can go out and meet others where they are and build relationships that will enable nonbelievers to grow in faith. Perhaps our job is not to invite others in, but to go out.
Thank you for this article, Dr. Lawless. I heard something similar to #9 not too long ago. This person said that they believed it wasn’t their part to do evangelism. Indeed, they said that they found it offensive with persons of other faiths talked with them about their beliefs, so they refuse to share the love of Christ. I found that nothing short of disturbing.
Ultimately, I think that our flesh will push us to make any and every excuse for not inviting people to our local church. It may be uncomfortable, but we simply have to do it, especially if we’re talking to someone who doesn’t know Christ. I know I’m just preaching to the choir here, though.
Good to hear from you, Madison. Good insights.
I know this is superficial but the condition of your facility may impact a congregation to be excited to invite friends and family. We have an important area of our building that is lacking and it’s the children’s floor. Honestly it looks dated and scary and when giving a visitor a tour it’s the last place we show them. So some may hesitate to invite due to being embarrassed over the physical condition of their church.
No question, Hope, that facilities do affect our willingness to invite others. Thanks.
Sunday morning is one of the few times people are able to relax with their loved ones, so it has to welcome the whole family and friends, or be at a different time. And short. Services over an hour long take up too much of the day, and they often drag on. Keep services short, tight, meaningful, so that when someone does come to church, they are not held hostage there for hours, but instead leave wanting just a little bit more.
Appreciate your thoughts, Anne.
That which you value, which changes you, which gives you comfort, peace, and hope, and is unlike anything the World itself can offer, is what compells you to invite others in to be a part of. If all it offers is a bad imitation of all which surrounds it, it will not grip your heart, change your lif,e or give you a desire to share it,
Are we being changed by our involvement in our churches? Are we being exhorted that Christ is precious above all, and leaving believing no matter the storm, He is enough? Are we being led by men who are passionately and zealously pursuing God and submitting their lives fully to Him, that we might desire and strive to imitate them, as they imitate Christ? Is our church a haven for us in our deepest sorrows and pain? If not, it probably holds no treasured part in our life and is not deemed worthy of sharing.
Good questions, Janelle. Thanks.
!. What is the difference in a Church and a Club? (Think)
2. What is the biggest budget item of your church?
3. What is the Smallest budget item?
4. The above factors, answered in truth, will tell you not only why, but what your churches main purpose. is. Not goals, purpose.
5. Developing programs is not an answer, recognizing, and applying the main purpose is.
I have been an active member of a church for 68 years, and have seen all the programs, heard all the social issues, and have watched the Scriptures and Gospel diluted to the point that neither is mentioned very often. It is about feel good, sugar coating, and anyone can get that at a pharmacy or on TV. Why don’t I leave for a better church-Where? Follow the money and you are in the wrong place every time. The answer-Follow Jesus the Christ. Begin with the simple purpose of “Offering them Jesus” Clubs do not seek members, members seek clubs. Quietness prevails.
Thanks for taking the time to read and respond, Carl.
Excellent article… except that the link in the first paragraph is broken!
[Editor’s note – Link is now fixed]
Thanks for letting us know, Stuart.
Apathy
No question that apathy is an issue, Jim.
If we attended a movie and it was terrific, we would never hesitate to suggest a friend go see it. Ditto for a great experience at anything … Theme Park, spectacular shopping mall, great restaurant, etc. So, from my perspective, the real reason the member doesn’t invite is that the member doesn’t see anything going on that excites him.
We’ll drive 10 or 15 miles to a really great restaurant. Or theater, so I doubt that objection.
Also, the premise of the article is that unchurched would be likely to go to church if someone invited them. I suggest that the truth is that most people SAY they’d go if asked, which I don’t doubt. How many would actually go may be another matter.
I also believe that we may actually fear success more than we fear failure. If you prayed for someone and God miraculously healed them, that would (or should) change your life. If you taught a lesson and lives were changed, how could you not teach? If we introduce someone to the faith and they’re saved, we’d suddenly REALLY have to live our faith before them.
And the list goes on…
I made this very comment to the church leadership a couple months ago. Most to all members like our church, but virtually no one is excited about it. Why would we expect people to invite to what we ourselves consider mediocre? This actual conversation lit a fire under the leadership to start considering serious changes.
Thanks for your thoughts, Bob.
Pastors don’t like this but the most common reason we get turned down is worship style.
Our church is traditional.
Our “boomer” friends insist on a contemporary worship. This is a fact. I have friends who commute 30-45 min each way over worship (music) style.
Thanks for the personal reflection and application, Russ.